Aftermath
by Jersey Wolf
Summary: AU Sequel to "Regaining My Humanity". Involves Tom confronting his shortcomings and having a hard time accepting them. Lots of frustration ensues and hopefully some release of tensions. Rated M because...well, you'll see. TomxJackie


**Author's Note:** Hey guys...hey guys...more mature stuff because I'm a rad person like that. That's right you guys. Just for you because I know you're out there, and I see you all creeping on my story stats. BUT ANYWAY, in all seriousness, I decided that "Regaining My Humanity" could use a little sort of sequel thing. Mostly because I wished they'd talked more about the "issues". So, I gave Tom some time to think about it and do his best to confront it. Enjoy you guys.

* * *

><p><em>You can cover up your guts but when you cover up your nuts,<em>  
><em> You're admitting that there must be something wrong,<em>  
><em> Press any button and milk and honey flows,<em>  
><em> The world begins behind your neighbor's wall,<em>  
><em> It all looks fine to the naked eye,<em>  
><em> But it don't really happen that way at all,<em>  
><em> Nah nah no, don't happen that way at all.<em>

-"Naked Eye", The Who

Tom had a stiffness in his back that he hadn't experienced in a while, and he felt strangely warm and cold in equal measure as he slowly came too. His face still felt heavy with sleep, but the light told him that it had to have been morning if not early afternoon. He must have been tired, but why was he tired? He picked up his head, bringing a hand to his neck and rubbing to alleviate some of the soreness from having it positioned awkwardly on the arm of the couch. What struck him though was that he was alone and that the warmth he was feeling was self-contained. No one beside him, though he was certain he hadn't fallen asleep alone. In fact his memory was giving him quite the vivid detailing of why he hadn't been alone, which made him feel suddenly flushed and awkward as he sat up, still rubbing his neck and grumbling as his words refused to show themselves. Blocked by confusion and morning pains.

They did, however, populate his mind as he tried to explain away his memories. Memories told him one story with plenty of details for him to consider, but his cynicism was having none of it. As far as it was concerned memories were not to be trusted, and they were simply trying to make him feel better about the pain in his neck and back. Such pandering could not be trusted, and Tom knew his pessimism had a point. A rather valid one at that. A different kind of memory confirmed that.

His memory could have always been lying to him; it very well could have been. He didn't put it past his mind to play nasty, nasty tricks on him, but it was hard to feel like it had all been a hallucination as he looked down at his own flesh. Yes, this was him. All of him. Even the parts of him he didn't care to think about. From messy hair to monkey toes. Naked as uh…as a…some kind of animal. Or maybe the saying went different than that. He couldn't remember. He was never one to be vain, but he couldn't help but think the light of day was rather unflattering on him. Pasty and boney with dark hair that no amount of sunlight could bleach. _No wonder most people fuck in the dark._ Tom felt his face get hot again at the thought of it, "it", and not just from his previous anxieties surrounding the ritual.

_Most people fuck in the dark. Most people fuck. Bang. Screw. Copulate. Stimulate._

Sex. Was that what people would call it if they knew? Not that he'd go out and ask someone for his or her opinion on such a thing, especially of his own dealings with it. That was personal, and he couldn't even ask himself that question. Sex, scoring…perfect score? Not last night. Not really, but as the song went "two out of three ain't bad". Except when it was. Except when the last point counted the most. The dried spot on the cushion reminded him that he wasn't exactly getting the best grades when it came to whatever one would consider what had happened the night before. _Was that sex? Kind of, I guess._ He glanced at it briefly before looking down, but that view wasn't much better so he looked forward. Sex was a two-person activity, but here he was sitting on the couch alone with pain in his bones and limp dick providing no answers for him. And right about now some answers would have been nice because this was all just too confusing for him to just accept that he might have just arrived, stripped, jizzed on the sofa, and then fallen asleep. He doubted Jackie would put up with that kind of shit anyway. Likely would have dumped him outside if that had been the case. He also doubted he would do something like that given he had the sexual confidence of an eleven year old and the over all confidence of a worm.

_Spineless. Limp dick. _

Funny how those meant the same thing, went together to make one feel bad about themselves. Well, maybe it wasn't exactly _funny_.

So maybe that had all really happened. _Assuming._ If he were to assume he was remembering everything correctly then it'd certainly explain why his clothes were on the floor in an awkward not quite pile with clothes that were definitely not his mixed in. He didn't wear bras. Not that he could remember. Definitely not. That wasn't his particular brand of crazy from what the records would say, and he would attest to it. Quietly he replayed his memories and frowned as he remembered his "two out of three". It had bugged him then, and it was bugging him now. He wanted that to be his mind playing tricks on him, but it was the part of the night he remembered with the most detail. The fact that he was a complete failure on not just societal levels. Maybe he should have just stopped thinking about it. It wasn't changing anything except for the extent in which he was embarrassed.

_My dick don't work quite right._

Regardless of embarrassment and memories, he was tired of sitting there in the buck trying to figure out if things were real or if life was just scarily coincidental. Thinking didn't make him any less sore, and it just brought up more questions than he could answer on his own. Standing up his bones shifted and bitched at him for sleeping places he knew would fuck him over later. _Couches are not meant for people with back problems to sleep on. I've learned this._ Once the internal whining ceased he bent down to grab his boxers from the floor, biting his tongue and reciting the pledge of allegiance as he picked up some underwear that, simply put, were not his boxers and placed them out of his periphery. Mercifully, his boxers were close to the surface, and he didn't have to start naming presidents. He'd never been good with them anyway.

He'd straightened up again, ready to get at least somewhat clothed when the sound of feet moving across the floor from down the hall met his ears, moving toward him faster than he would have liked them too. He was frozen briefly before realizing the sound was about to come out from the hall to the room where he stood. By then it was too late to put the underwear on so he just brought his hands to his waist, boxers draped strategically, his face instantly anxious through the forced calm.

"Oh, sorry, thought you were still sleeping," Jackie greeted him as she rounded the corner wearing some t-shirt with a picture Tom couldn't recognize that went to just below her…Tom stopped the thought before it finished, digging teeth into tongue since he couldn't reach his brain. He needed to focus on something else, but there really wasn't much else to distract from her, and he knew she'd suspect something if he stared at the wall. "I didn't startle you or anything, did I?"

"St-startle me? Nah, I was just…getting up to…I dunno…do something," Tom lied, and terribly at that.

"You're covering your dick like this was a warzone in here," she retorted, pointing an accusatory finger at Tom's hands still clinging to the waistband, hiding behind a cotton guard marked with plaid. _That's what you don't seem to understand. This is a warzone. I'm surprised there aren't any casualties._ Tom shifted from foot to foot, looking straight ahead and shrugging in what he hoped was a nonchalant way.

"No, I was just getting dressed."

"Then get dressed. I'm not stopping you."

"Uh…you kind of are…I mean…" Tom saw Jackie's face become amused, the quiet kind, and he knew he'd given himself away. Quite obviously really. "I'm naked."

"And?"

"I'm naked," Tom repeated, slowly as if it was the hardest concept to grasp.

"Yeah, and…?"

"The sun's out. Lights are on. I don't know." Tom stumbled over his words, toes tapping the floor anxiously. _There's proper lighting. You'll see everything. Why don't you get it? Everything._

"It's nothing I haven't seen already."

"But that was in the dark."

"I already saw it, you know," Jackie said matter-of-factly. "I woke up before you did. I looked. So what? Does it matter at this point?"

Tom would have sworn the blood drained from his face if he hadn't known it had left long ago. His jaw refused to stay clenched, but his teeth touched giving him a strange grimace. _Excuse me?_ Jackie didn't seem nearly as fazed, and good god…that just made it worse. "I…you did what?" Tom's face regained some color as a blush took place of surprise. "Why? By accident? I can't imagine you'd look on purpose. I mean…I've seen it, but it's mine so…really?"

"Yeah, really. What? It's a bit late for dick regret. I'm already pretty familiar with it," she said, smiling. "It's not weird or anything if that's what's bothering you."

"It's not _that_…" he groaned. He knew exactly what he meant, but his words escaped him once more. Looking down he saw his hands ringing the material between them and he felt even worse. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he couldn't stop himself. Quite honestly he'd been expecting to be thrown out, but to have been presented with an air of normalcy was throwing him through a loop. "It's just that…I know you told me you had wanted _that_, but I still feel weird because it's just me here. I don't know what you see."

Jackie's hands had gone to her hips and she was doing the thinking thing, which made Tom feel quite small. Not something he wanted to think about at the moment. "I see you being a complete weirdo, but you're always like that. You're being defensive like you always are, but I really don't care about that or how much you think you don't deserve things, which I think is what you're getting at." Tom winced, but she wasn't done. "I like you. Why're you being so weird about it? Do you not like me or something?"

"No, I like you," Tom replied weakly. "I like you a lot obviously, but I guess I just can't see someone liking me back. My track record for such things isn't exactly spotless, and you know that."

"I don't think anyone's is. Haven't you watched teen cinema?"

"I'd like to think my problems are bigger than having the fucking prom queen think I'm a complete dork. The only time blood is involved with stuff like that is in horror movies. _Carrie_ comes to mind."

"You don't look nearly as good in a dress."

"That's beside the point. Point is I fucked up really badly, and why the hell would anyone, let alone you, go for that? On top of that I'm a lousy fuck."

"Is that what this is about? I told you it was ok. Stop beating yourself up, and try and accept that I actually like you. So you weren't perfect the first time around. You're human, and it happens. It doesn't change the fact that I like you." She paused as if to gather her thoughts and then continued. "Look, I'm just gonna make some coffee and let you think about this, and if you want something you can ask. Right now, though, you're being ridiculous."

Jackie didn't waste time shaking her head and headed straight away in the opposite direction. He watched her go, perhaps a little too closely as now familiar impulses traveled across his nerves. Tom felt his grip loosen, but his jaw had fixed itself shut, digging his teeth into intangible frustration. Might as well have been tangible at that point given how heavy it was. Weighing him down and making him slouch. Who was she to tell him he was being ridiculous? She was the one being ridiculous. She was the one who'd fucked a crazy guy and was acting like it had been no different than…than what? Acting like it was _okay_. Like there was nothing wrong with it. _Well, it isn't okay, and there is something wrong with it. Something wrong with me. _Tom's mind raged and pouted and bared its teeth. How dare she treat him like a person? How dare she treat him like she actually liked him? And what if she really did? Tom let his arms drop once she was out of sight, no longer giving a damn about being exposed. He was tired again, but he didn't want to sleep. He could still hear her, moving about the kitchen, feet dragging a little. The sound was like jackhammers to his ears. No way he could fall back asleep to that.

Especially not on the couch. The couch was…infected sounded like a terrible word, but Tom could think of no other way to describe it as he caught a glimpse of it in the corner of his eye. He felt his shoulders ease up, and he looked toward the kitchen again, fingers tapping his legs unevenly, left side brushed by cotton. Perhaps he should do something. Say something, but what? His words were making no sense, and he'd already annoyed her it seemed. What more could he do without risk of making things worse? Not much that he could think of, but he knew he couldn't just stand there with his palms moist, dick feeling a bit like it was twitching, and his toes becoming intimate with the carpet. He pulled his boxers on at last and made his way to the kitchen door, scuffing the ground as his feet rebelled against motion. The kitchen door loomed in front of him. It one of the ones with springs that made it swing back at you and occasionally caught you in the back of the head if you weren't careful. Then again, maybe that was just him.

He reached out and pushed the door open, taking a moment to let himself adjust to the unnatural lighting and ignoring the way his feet recoiled at contact with the cold tiles. Maybe he should have put on his socks. The coffee maker was making its same old "death noises", and Jackie was leaning on the counter, and _damn that shirt is just long enough_. Tom shook his head clear of thoughts as best he could, but some things just made a habit of persisting in his mind despite his attempts to block them out, so he focused on the chill of the floor. He managed to make it over to the table and sat, trying to make himself comfortable even though he was far from it. The cushion on the chair had shifted so that he sat both on it and the wood. It made his tailbone hurt.

"Can I have some?" he asked, the words sticking in his throat and pointing to the machine now that it had since silenced itself. She had one of those single cup coffee makers that Tom had only used to make the weird "fancy" hot chocolate. It wasn't the best, but it was all right.

"You don't like coffee," Jackie replied, not sharply but with pointed indifference as she took her mug. The bright yellow smiley face on her mug with large letters declaring something obscene only made the scene in Tom's line of view all the more comical, but he couldn't laugh. _Nothing's funny._

"You're right. I don't. You got any juice?"

"Uh, yeah, just cranberry."

"That's fine. I like that."

Jackie placed her mug down and went to fridge, Tom sitting and twiddling his thumbs and trying to ignore the silence. A clear glass, one of the flat sided kind you saw mostly in restaurants, filled with deep red juice was placed in front of him, and before he could say "thank you" Jackie was already back at the counter with her coffee.

"Sorry about the couch," Tom ventured. "I'll clean it. It's my fault anyway."

"Nah, I'll get it," the woman shrugged, the calmness layered on with intent this time, and the realization of that made Tom's toes curl and his fingers grip his glass. "Though you are the cause of the mess."

"Thank you so much for the reminder. I already said that," Tom countered, anger crawling out from under the rock it had been hissing from with sharp teeth. "I'm starting to think my performance anxiety will go down in history at this rate. Why don't you tell me again how I'm a real fuckin' freak of nature who can't keep his dick up for one solid fuck. Let's all just make fucking flyers and hang them around the city. We'll tell everyone. It'll be a goddamn holiday." Tom's face was hot, his grip on the glass deadly.

"Calm down."

"I can't. I tried. I can't. I'm sorry I guess," Tom pouted, his anger taking the back seat once more to self-pity. "How can I calm down? I may not have the best social graces or any other stuff like that, but I thought I could just, you know…do something that's supposed to come naturally, and I couldn't even do that." Tom too a swig of the juice in his glass, grunting as he put it down as if it was the manliest single thing he'd ever done in his life. Jackie stifled a laugh as she took the seat opposite of him.

"You'd be surprised. A lot of people do worse. Some people can't even make it enjoyable," she shrugged. "You've got a leg up in that division if it makes any difference to you."

Tom nodded his head absently, but as the words registered in his mind he suddenly stopped and looked up from his drink. "Wait…you liked it?" His mouth hung open a bit as he stared, but Jackie's face showed no signs of deception. _She…did she? Really?_ Tom tilted his head. Perhaps a different angle would reveal the deceit, but again he came up with nothing. Had she really? He found it hard to believe.

"For as long as it lasted, yeah. I said we could do it again, and I meant it. Yeah, you're a bit rough, but that's only in technique. And hey, I kinda like that."

"As opposed to?"

"Technique you mean? Well…you could use some polish, but your body did exactly what it was supposed to. I think we'd have more of an issue here if it didn't work at all. Get what I'm saying?" Jackie explained.

Tom would have nodded, but his mind had taken him back to health class and the one class devoted to coloring and labeling the different parts of the reproductive system. He remembered using a lot of blues and greens. "Yeah," he finally agreed. "I guess, but that's not what I wanted, you know? I feel _bad_, and I'm not going to stop feeling bad about it. Not now anyway."

"You're too hard on yourself," Jackie frowned as she reached across the table and gave him a somewhat patronizing pat on the head. "You ever think of just allowing yourself to be okay with things?"

"I have to be hard on myself. If I'm not I get out of control, and I don't like that. If I don't have control then I don't have anything. It's the only thing that makes me human."

Jackie shook her head and stood up, walking over to Tom and bending down to give him a kiss on the top of his head. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you."

"Maybe you could give me another shot."

Not bothering to get permission, Tom shifted in his seat and kissed Jackie back, perhaps with a bit too much enthusiasm. Still, Jackie didn't protest. Not immediately anyway. Her willingness came as a bit of a shock, but Tom wasn't going to complain, but as she moved away, straightening up and giving him this look, he felt himself sink back into his seat.

"Can I ask what you're doing?"

"Trying again I think," he answered simply, tilting his head and shrugging.

"What?"

"You said we could try again. Last night. I remember that. I was thinking we could…you know…again." Tom wasn't sure how he'd managed to get the words out, but he had, making a meaningless gesture for the word "again". The warmth had crept up on him again causing him to shift in his spot, and despite his moodiness he knew what he wanted. He wanted a second chance. It had been offered, and Tom was nothing if not an opportunist.

"Wait…you mean right now?"

"Why not?"

"In the kitchen?"

"No, everything's hard in here. Just…maybe not on the couch this time."

"I haven't even had my coffee."

"Fuck the coffee."

"And fuck you instead?"

"Exactly."

"Sounds like a reasonable argument," Jackie smiled, her annoyance looking to have been forgotten for the time being. "I vote bed this time. Softer than a kitchen and bigger than a couch." Tom just nodded dumbly. Honestly, it didn't make much of a difference to him at this point as he was focused on something more important than the couch or the really, fucking, cold tile of the kitchen. He wasn't going to mess up this time. He wasn't going to allow it.

Pushing himself out of his sit, Tom turned his head to the door, looking between it and Jackie eagerly until she headed out first. The walk from the kitchen to the bedroom felt drawn out as Tom processed and processed and processed, following behind Jackie as if he didn't know the way. It dawned on him quite suddenly how closely he was watching her. Before this he would have been doing his best to shift his focus to the walls, doors, the floor, but now…now it was okay. He was allowed. Allowed. What a fucking amazing word. _Allowed. Allowed. I'm allowed._ Tom ran it on repeat on his head, showing his teeth and feeling suddenly more anxious. It bothered him because he'd been anxious _before_, so he took a deep breath and he walked through the doorway.

"You look scared half to death," she said quietly as she gestured for him to come closer. _I am. _Obediently he did just that. Standing on her toes she kissed him, resting her hands on his shoulders and leaning into him. "I'm not gonna hurt you ya know," she added moving from his mouth to his cheek.

"Yeah, I know, but what about me hurting you?" Tom offered though his legs were starting to feel more like mush and his voice wavering as warm hands passed over him, from his shoulders and down to his stomach, pressing lightly and threatening to push him over onto the bed. Jackie just shrugged and found his mouth again, which gave Tom enough of a hint to be quiet. Her hands pushed for real this time, and he didn't resist, moving back and flopping into a sit as she pulled the oversized shirt over her head. Tom grinned reflexively at the sight. Jackie situated herself on Tom's lap, knees bent as she straddled his legs, arms wrapped around his neck. Tom moved his hands to her hips, causing her to pull herself even closer to him with his help.

"Always did like those cold hands of yours," she commented playfully, her lips finding his neck.

"You'd better," Tom replied through a grunt as he felt teeth graze his skin, and he placed his hands on her breasts, their warmth a stark contrast to his indeed cold hands. Jackie's amused laugh was cut off by the sensation, and she moved toward Tom's touch. "Like that?" he asked. She nodded, rubbing herself against his hips, the cotton of his boxers brushing against her, fibers almost tickling. He squeezed and rubbed, kissing where her neck met her shoulder and smiling as Jackie's body reacted to his touch. "Cold?" he smirked rubbing his thumbs against her nipples. _Standing at attention I see._ _Don't they usually say that about dicks? Whatever. Works here too. Yeah, definitely._ Tom's smirk had widened into a full-blown victory smile.

"Shut up," Jackie sighed placing her hands on the side of his face and pulling him into a deep kiss. A most efficient way of getting him to "shut up". She leaned hard into him suddenly, pushing him back onto the bed, one hand one his chest and the other tugging at the elastic around the man's waist. Deciding to stay in the spirit of cooperation Tom lifted his hips, allowing Jackie to slip his boxers down, Tom using his feet to remove them the rest of the way. Jackie's hand that had rested at his waist ventured to the base of Tom's dick and moved to the tip in a fluid motion, feeling it start to firm up in her hand. Repeating the action she shifted her hips forward and sat up, his dick between her legs and agonizingly close as she moved over and across the length of it.

"You're so mean," Tom whined between breaths, his chest rising and falling awkwardly as he fought his own urges. What exactly was the gentlemanly thing to do in this kind of situation? Hell if he knew. _Just got to go with it, but shit with the hands and the everything…just don't screw up. Just don't screw up…_

"Am not," Jackie whispered trying to come off as cool though her voice trembled slightly with excitement. Tom didn't look satisfied with that and reached out and pulled her back down to his chest. She reflexively moved her hands out in front of her, landing them on his chest as laughing in surprise. Taking advantage of the moment, Tom lifted his head to bite her neck softly and growled in retaliation, one hand slipping from the woman's back to between her legs. She jumped, drawing in a sharp breath and dug her fingers into Tom's chest. _Cold hands. Remember?_ "Hm…you s-said…I was mean…" she protested, though there was no heart in it, and Tom knew he'd won this time. She moved with his hand, squeaking awkwardly as he found a spot to work and bit her cheek as teeth dug a bit into her skin, Tom's actions feeling a bit more like nips than kisses.

"I'm not mean," Tom shrugged, moving his hand away, wiping it briefly on the comforter before continuing. It would be washed anyway, and there was still something that just felt so weird about it even though he'd enjoyed seeing Jackie react so favorably. "I'm just a bit more animal than most. It's my nature."

"Where'd you learn that?" she pouted, taking a moment to catch her breath.

"A book. Sometimes your mom's romance novels are the only things left in the house you haven't read," Tom answered. Jackie shook her head, but didn't say anything as she shifted and moved her neck away from his mouth and left a trail of kisses down his chest and too his hip, stopping as he tensed up but not where it was expected. Tom shook his head, hands suddenly tight around the smooth material on the bed.

"Don't worry," Jackie said as comfortingly as she could manage as her nerves continued to fire off pleasant signals. "I know that freaks you out," she added her hand back on the shaft of his dick, working up and massaging with her fingers, and it was more than just starting to firm up this time. "You ready?" she asked jokingly as she already had a clear answer.

"I don't know. You tell me," Tom grunted with a sort of urgency that hadn't been there before. _Calm the fuck down. Remember what happened last time when you started to freak out?_ He tried to slow his heart, but that did nothing, and he must have been showing his anxieties all over his face as Jackie brought her face back up to his and gave his cheek a kiss and smiled softly causing him to sink a bit more into the bed.

"Relax, and wait just one second," she said, rolling off of him and onto her back before getting onto all fours and heading for her bedside table.

Tom craned his neck to see, but the angle was awkward and it was dark in the room. All he heard there was opening of a drawer, some rummaging, and then the sound of the drawer being closed again. "What're you doing?" Jackie dropped a condom, wrapper and all, on his chest as an answer. "Why do you have those?"

"Because I'm a responsible adult."

"I don't have a disease," he said with defensiveness he hadn't expected. Maybe it wasn't the disease thing so much as she had _those things_. Made him a bit jealous despite himself.

"I know, but I also have no intention of getting pregnant today. Put it on." Her voice broke through Tom's thoughts, and the look she was giving him put him at some level of ease. She was focusing on him. Why should he have been worried?

"Oh…I uhh…I kind of…don'twanttotouchit," Tom fumbled out.

"Think it's gonna bite you?"

"It might do a lot of things," he shrugged. "Look, could you? I'm not asking much." Jackie stared at him for a second or two, but eventually shrugged and removed the wrapper, wagging the damn thing in his face for a second or two before Tom weakly swatted her hand away. "Cut it out."

"Lighten up," she laughed and rolling the rubber over his dick. "See? No big deal. I even got the good kind." Tom just groaned some response, bringing his hands to his face and shaking his head. _I'm not listening._ "I'll be having none of your shit today," Jackie said lightly, at odds with her words. _Is it because you put up with it every other day?_ "I know you're nervous," she continued. "Don't be, okay?"

"I'm trying not to be, but yesterday…"

"Forget yesterday."

"I'll try…"

"Good."

Jackie positioned herself above him once more; palms flat against the bed with her knees bent and back sloping as she lowered her hips until she felt the tip of his penis against her. Tom was watching her intently, and his breathing was heavy but slower this time. She bent forward to ask him something, but was caught off guard as he picked his head up and met her with a deep kiss, taking his turn to keep her quiet. She'd done it to him, and he'd do it to her. It was kind of funny how it worked out that way. _I need to focus._ Tom lifted his hips up, feeling himself partially amongst the now familiar warmth, and Jackie reciprocated in pushing down, forcing him further in, wincing briefly and moving away from his mouth and burying her face in the curve of his neck. Tom thought to say something, but as she began to move her hips up and down he didn't feel the need. Given the way she was sounding he figured that the pain she may have been experiencing was worth it, and he wasn't feeling bad himself. Hell, he was feeling pretty freaking fantastic.

Tom moved his hands to Jackie's ass, pressing her down as he pushed up, trying to remember the rhythm from last night, but it didn't come as they moved together force and speed varying with each somewhat offbeat movement. Jackie arched her back, unable to form words between quickened breath, and moaning incoherent sounds, as Tom moved faster and thus harder. She gripped the comforter as Tom bit her shoulder enough that she could feel it leaving a mark, his stomach tensing and heels digging into the mattress for leverage. Tom grunted through his teeth, biting harder as he felt build up not just in his dick and spine but moving out across what felt like all of his nerves. He tried to force the sensation away, but it was hard to ignore as Jackie continued to grind against and with him.

"Jac…" he growled breathily as his hands went from her ass to her breasts, digging his fingers into the warm flesh. He felt her legs tighten at his sides along with the rest of her, and he knew she hadn't heard him. Her breathing was so that he could feel it as she pressed her stomach toward his. _I'm not fucking up this time. _Tom braced himself against her, feeling his sides starting to hurt from use. He became suddenly aware of the sweat that clung to both their bodies, making him feel almost uncomfortable sticky, but victorious. Nobody could say he hadn't tried, and he had a creeping suspicion that Jackie didn't have any complaints. She managed to loosen her hold on the sheets only to replace it with Tom's shoulders, pulling her neck and shoulders from his mouth and teeth, but his hands still pinned her against him, so she ended up pressing her forehead against his, gritting her teeth while somehow smiling. Her breath became more labored as Tom pushed himself as best he could and dug her nails into his shoulders as her inner walls tightened and tightened until…

Release. Tom felt it, taken aback at the strange but not unpleasant feeling and the sound that came out of the woman's mouth, an exhale-moan that came from her gut. Her cheeks felt warm and flushed against his already warm skin as she inhaled more slowly, her hips still slipping up and down as she relocated a hand to the base of Tom's still erect shaft until he too hit his stride and then climaxed as well, sounding more like some kind of grunting animal than a person. He dropped his hips, and Jackie held hers up, waiting until he was out before letting herself rest on his chest, stomachs sticking together and Tom's breathing shaky and still tinged with excitement. Before, the same moment had felt awkward and rushed, but now he couldn't help but feel exhilarated. His arms had dropped to his sides, palms up, and the rest of his muscles still twitching from use.

"I did it," he grinned enthusiastically. "I mean…shit…wow, I…this is different than last time. Real different…you like it? Jeez…I mean…that's kinda what I was going for, but man…" Tom continued after taking some time to fully catch his breath and feeling his dick start to go soft again. Jackie shook her head in amusement and laughed, her breath light on his skin. His mood was infectious, and she found herself smiling stupidly as well.

"Not bad at all," she said. "Sorry about your shoulders though," she added, brushing her thumbs over the indents in his skin.

"Eh, they'll be fine," he shrugged leaning his head back lazily. "Battle scars and well worth 'em. I'm more sorry about biting you so hard. I don't know what that was…" he continued his gaze resting on the red spots along her shoulder and up her neck on one side.

"Don't feel bad. I kinda…sorta really liked that," Jackie admitted, and if her cheeks could have gotten redder they did. Tom looked surprised for a moment or two before nodding. He jumped as he felt Jackie's hand once more at the base of his dick, picking up his head in curiosity. She removed the condom, tossing it in the small trash bin she had by her bed, and Tom couldn't help but find the normalcy of the act a bit bizarre. "Figured since you didn't want to touch it before you wouldn't want to now," she explained before situating herself as his side, head on his shoulder and one arm draped across him. A different kind of warmth spread through his body as he felt her fingers moving over his chest absently. "Up for a second round?" she joked.

"Let's not push it," Tom replied. "I'd like to keep this victory."

"Yeah, I figured," Jackie agreed. "But what're we going to do? There's still a lot of day left."

"We could always do nothing," he offered, and he meant it too. As thrilled as he was he couldn't fight nature. _I'm just a bit tired._ Jackie brought her head up under his chin and kissed his neck gently, some of the scruff that'd accumulated over one day's worth of not shaving scratching against her nose, and made a quiet thinking sound under her breath. A bit like a hum but almost diluted.

"Alright." The acceptance and calm and all the freaking normal of it hit suddenly. It was okay. This was okay. _I'm okay or something like it._ Nothing had once been a terrifying thing. Nothing and no one. But nothing with someone and the assurance that maybe, just maybe, things wouldn't be perfect, but it'd be okay at least for the foreseeable future, and that was something Tom could accept.

"You mean it?"

"Always do."

"Weird."

"Only if you make it that way."

Tom tried to respond, but nothing came to him, so he let out a long breath. _Only if I make it that way. Only me. _"Okay," he finally agreed. The anxieties that had been gnawing at his mind had retreated for the time being, and everything was _okay_. There wasn't much else he could expect, and that was okay too. Shifting closer he could smell the strong scent of sex, surprised only slightly by the fact that he could recognize it. It smelled like sweat and anxiety and something like accomplishment.


End file.
